I am very reminiscent. If I have a chance to think, talk, or relive my past I gladly will. Jon and I went for a trail ride at Cypress today. As soon I was on the back of that horse, all of my teenage memories of riding Cedar, the neighbor’s Thoroughbred, came back to me. Diane Combs gave me lessons in exchange for my work in the barn, mucking out stalls. The horse beneath me felt so familiar. I had to hold myself back from talking the trail leader’s ear off, asking questions, telling stories, and the like. There was a voice in me that reminded me that I was a fake, this wasn’t real life and I couldn’t be a cow-girl for 45 minutes, it would take years of experience.
My mother had always been a dreamer. She wanted to dream about building a beautiful house, traveling to unknown places, sacrificing for people she’s never met, pushing herself with new challenges (like living with very little, or climbing a mountain,) transporting herself back in time with wilderness experiences, starting small businesses, trying new foods, the list goes on. I grew up believing that dreaming was as vital to living, as drinking water. So now in my late 20’s as I sit on a large trail horse named Burtus, I begin to dream. I see my family on a ranch, riding, mucking, breeding, doing hay. I see my children learning to love work, learning skills that will stay with them a life time, and teaching them respect for God’s creation, animals and the land. (what a romantic) I can hear friends and family laughing and then shaking their heads. I guess the thing I know about dreaming is that true dreamers know that only the dreams that God has for them come true and the others are just fun to think about it. I knew my mom wasn’t going to do and have all the things she dreamed about, but sitting at our small table, with pencil and napkin, we loved to draw the layout for our dream home. Did we ever get that dream home? No. Are we still happy? Yes! Will I get my ranch with horses, cattle, and chickens? Who knows? I do know that I love to think about it!
2 comments:
You are a wonderful daughter/friend (yes, more like a sister to me). Thank you for understanding and affirming my personality. You cannot know what your words have given me today.
But your blog was not about me - it was about you. . . I hope you will get to live that dream of riding on the prairies with your family! But if you don't realize it here in this moment of life, I believe you will know it fully in heaven.
Of all my dreams, the most important was that my children grow up to be excellent people of God. THAT IS A DREAM THAT HAS COME TRUE!
Walk On my friend!
It's easier to keep the house clean and MUCH cheaper when the house is just a blueprint.
Post a Comment