Surprised

I'm surprised that I can do it...not to perfection...but I can somehow handle my house two kids and husband. I'm surprised that I can get three meals on the table, keep the laundry relatively at bay, get everyone out the door when need be, shop for a family of four with all completely different eating needs, keep my relationship with my husband is good shape, and ofcourse not trip over my dear old dog. I'm surprised that I'm not pulling my hair out more often...I'm not going to pretend I don't have those moments...days...weeks...but for the most part I'm doing it. I guess that's why I'm surprised that my relationship with my heavenly Father isn't doing so good...I mean on my end. Why does it seem so hard to fit him into my day. When,by some miracle, both the kids go down for a nap at the same time, I hear a voice saying to me, "Amie, grap your bible and spend some time with me." fun enough though I also hear another voice that says, "Reading and praying will take too much energy, just grap a diet coke and the remote and snuggle up to Operah." For some reason I always listen to the second voice. I don't know why instant gratification is always the easier choice. Surprise , Surprise that's the way we are made...looking out for number one, in this moment, at this time. You know it's the people in history that defie the tendancy towards that behaviour that we all admire. People who chose the hard road because they see the end is much sweeter.
I'm surprised that god continues to ask me to come sit with him. I think I'd better take him up on the offer before I can't hear his voice anymore.
Just a small part of me.